


Essays, Transcripts

by High Cracker Reverent Nylon (akaTrickster)



Category: Principia Discordia - Greg Hill (Malaclypse The Younger) & Kerry Thornley (Omar Khayyam Ravenhurst)
Genre: Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-13
Updated: 2020-06-13
Packaged: 2021-03-03 19:02:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 10,499
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24690499
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/akaTrickster/pseuds/High%20Cracker%20Reverent%20Nylon
Summary: I once thought that these were worth writing, god knows if they are worth reading. So I'm giving you, god, a chance to read them. Have fun.





	1. Prelude

**Author's Note:**

> This is not Ratatouille fan fiction. Yes that's staying there after I switched over to Discordianism. Don't take yourself too seriously, bye.

**“We all wear chains, but they are no longer of iron”**

I had come to say that humanity was doomed to striving with closed eyes, because I was born blind. Born blind of the truth, of the origin and of the solution. 

I was not the only blind man walking this land, as I walked I heard many others. I heard their rumblings, their nauseating gasps of monotony and mediocrity. Yet they always walked apart, disjointed of their brothers.

See we have dared to stride this land by distancing each other with more and more "things".

Things that have spread humanity across empty landscapes, vast oceans, amid deserts and plains, things that have struck revolt and misery, hunger, peace, death. 

Things that have gnawed the marrow off humanities’ skeleton, reduced to ashes, covered it in brazen brass, shielded it in glows of purple radiation, burned off to the ground the smiles of the innocent and sprouted laughed to a conversation. Things of legend, things of being. 

This frugal materialism of ours has driven us to a point of self-reflection, that much is true. It would be a madman’s script if I were to deny the many great faculties of our materialist system, that have managed to fulfill our biological needs with precision and exactitude (at least, in most places). But then again, what about mental fulfillment, spiritual fulfillment, have we managed that so far?


	2. Chapter 2

You've seen the love of your life go away, hands with another man? If I were you, I would be screaming! Shouting! Rage! Anger! Suffering!

It does not feel this way, not at all.

The feeling was empty, luscious, void. I.. cannot hold myself anymore. With a honest expression I could compare my situation of that of a man that has seen so much light, it has blinded him, but then again...

Why do we cloud our thought with metaphor and simile? With expressions and delusion! I have seen the earth as it is, and I have seen nothing, everything. The space between us is as real as we have figured! The lines we walk daily, the submission we take, the ideas we preach, the dogma we enchain! If I dared think about it all, it would escape my grasp!!

What point is it right to take? What point is it right to not take! Am I delusional, going insane? No!! I feel like my whole reality has opened, wide aforth like the gates of heaven, yet I am still insinuated inside this body, this mentality, this thought!!!

I have seen the motifs of all, the reasoning of most, and the actions of many. Yet, what purpose do these have! None! Down with the lunatic that tried enslaving thought once, but then succeeded again! It is but myself, you! It brings no sense, no right, no left!

If it were clear for us all, what chaos would the world be! Automobiles, lights, electricity, internet, instant communication! We are still further apart!! The space between us is ever larger! We may be next to each other, but our mind space will never be one, will never be one, will never be one!

I am still clearly lost!! Walking lines and trains and cars and bikes and u-boats and submarines and spaceships! I who dared destroy the world! I who spoke for himself, defying reality and biology! Defying the atom, the quark and light itself! I who dared stand on the hills of the atronach and spit on his name! I who spoke clearly to blind and deaf men, myself included! I who decided that writing this text would prove of some significance, meaning!!

No, not at all! We are still encapsulated by our ideology, our views, our dogmas, our beliefs, our science, our technology, our passions, our ideals, and the very space we occupy! Man dreams of immortality when he cannot stand his own living! Little diluted dupes we are!! I am stuck now, and will continue to be until I am blinded again! Blinded by the lights of the automobiles and the shining letters, blinded by my own impairments, blinded by love!


	3. Love

If we are not in outrage, in suffering, in misery, it would be because of the love of our people, of course! What man dares speak about cruelty and disdain if he finds himself in the love of a charming woman, in the arms of his lover! 

Creativity! Suspense! Uniqueness! We give ourselves so much sense to our living, to our understanding! A man once said ignorance is bliss, if so I would like a double with fries! Bring them down to their knees and make them pray, strip them away from their emotions, and man becomes none! 

Man who dared conquer the world and faltered in the last second! Man that has forced his brother to drink from his venom, man that entices all and cultivates none! Man of the economy, man of the politics, man of the science! Man of the simple life! We are all chained!

But it really is sweet, not knowing. Not knowing what happens next door, what confabulations happen in our offices, in our governments! Not to know how much we are getting screwed over by ourselves, so much we have stopped our own forthcomings! I scream because I can, until I am sedated again by the poison of this society! What great fear does it bring, when being observed can make you an outcast, and speaking out a stranger! 

Does it have to be like this all the time? It was never before, yet it was, and is, now. I can still cherish the affection of my family, my friends, my dog. Yet I feel the distance now, lurking.

Being close pulls us apart. Being together brings us closer. 

No?! How could this be! Perhaps I am sad, alone, both?! How could my thoughts be so distorted, shamelessly twisted, and provocative as to start a fire, a blaze! I feel it all burning away, slowly, my predicament, my initiative, my creativity, my very self! 

The sphinx is here, it is eating my imagination! It is feeding on the rainbow of my brain! Except the Sphinx is now full. The Sphinx is dead and we killed it!

We made it become ourselves! It mirrors our image, we have perpetuated it! We created the atom bomb and the rifle, we hold our guns with our hands and stroke them to kill, to live! What monsters have we made of our people, and how depravate have we become! Murdersome cries, muffled cries!

We have poisoned the apple! The worm is dead! We live in sleeping death! Now our cauldrons are cities and our breweries money! We have wished for the stars yet today we stand, tied to the ground, tied to the walls!

What crying, what outrage will stop this? None. It stands in disbelief that belief brought us here, and disbelief will bring us back here again. It is senseless, it is ubiquitous! We will live our lives in ordinary suspension, bringing forth whatever our nature (limited, by our own selves!) will bring. We stand therefore as creators, destroyers! Of nothing.

Great men and women have shaped the world we inhabit today, should we blame them for its injustices? Yet it is all not negative, all not in vain, no. Together we strive for success (a blatantly subjective emotion, once again!) in all of our actions, our delusions, our dreams. Yet, for some reason, we stand together to prevent success from happening. We will oppose, we will idealize, we will create fairytale Utopias to present what we believe shall be the best, the ideal! Whose decision is that to make? 

Nobody's.


	4. Introduction

Of course, much rambling will prove of no meaning without an introduction, so here goes something short.

I am REDACTED, living in REDACTED, in the year 2018. A descendant of a line of domesticated monkeys dating back to nearly 300,000 years, living on planet Earth. A place where a man got nailed for speaking happy thoughts and men drown with greed and grief dominance over every other living species (including starfish).

Not that I should make a distinction of the planet I am living on anyways, considering the fact that I will not see other major planetary colonies in my lifetime, (unless they discover that lunar rock creates gold, of course.)

Here I am sitting down in front of a monitor, typing out something that will probably never be read by anyone of significance, and trying to make a sense out of the whole damn thing. (This is not to say the reader is not significant, of course.)

Not just metaphorically speaking, but we will get to that in a bit.

One morning I decided to go outside and check out the most beautiful sunset I have ever seen, and so I went and moved across a trail of stepping stones in my garden. On the last one, where the view was most placid, and on the very moment of utmost enjoyment, of the most utter happiness, I slipped.

I did not hit my head, nor my chest, nor my legs, I was fine. But it so happened to occur that, at that very moment, I was struck with a thought, one so profoundly vile and cruel, I thought I would never write it down.

It was the precise moment of enlightenment. 

This is not a story of me cursing the shit out of sunsets, no.

But rather a deep analysis on why the hell there is something wrong with the world, and why nothing will change forever. (forever being of course out of human perception)


	5. Pessimism and the loss of individuality

Let me state this at once, because I want to make it clear to myself. I am not pessimistic in the slightest. I am pretty sure this world could be at least 500% worse than it is now, for sure.

It would also be pessimistic if I thought writing this down wouldn’t be worthwhile, or that my future will be full of dark fallout clouds and nebulae of ash. No, not at all. I am writing this for the very same reason of preventing that future, in the matter of possibility of writing something of redeemable “quality” or that could provoke some interest.

And, it is to be expected that the reader assumes the best case scenario under every situation (not really), as it is for me to write as objectively as I can (utilizing the standard definition of objectivity, mind you).

It should also be expected this to be my cry for originality, my desperate search for recognition…  
No, can we please stop that. Yes we stopped that, good.

See, for some reason it is a desire of most people to stand out, to become one greater among their own people, to “shine like a star”. Yet stars live for around 2.6 million years and the average lifespan for a human being is around 75. It is unimportant to compare such people to the profoundly useless nature of our existence, because it has some use. 

As much as people want to take it away from us, we still have the power of choice, that which in turn creates complete individuality. It is virtually impossible for any algorithm, for any computer, to sort out all the possible takes of action from a particular individual, considering his personality, routine and thought, because they’re non-quantifiable. And I am saying this a man with no electrical experience, minimum knowledge in programming and that can barely fix his toaster if it stopped operating for some reason. 

Editors note: Of course, this was written at a time during which we did not have access to the practical tools of deep learning and quantum algorithms, but what was the author supposed to know anyways? 

(There is no box, why think outside of it?)


	6. On Choices

When searching for apples, do you pick the gnawed and old or the ripe and pristine? We must become harvesters of our values, on our own orchards. Yet this becomes exceedingly difficult when each and every one of them is painted red, and put in individual plastic bags at a store. We still have the choice, but the options have been covered in make-up for us. Which choice is 'right', now?

It is not so much that the option matters, but rather the fact that not being able to see the individual options clearly makes them less personal, unique. When everything looks the same, discerning the difference between what (according to regular meaning) "proper" and "improper" may be. Is it really our decision?

A man was once choosing between a heavily congested road against a shorter, more perilous off-road. The option the man took? He remained still. 

We have been given too many options that have no real repercussion for ourselves, that judging between them has become incredibly difficult. The man chooses the shorter road (contrary to 'lawful' belief) and he risks his life, yet he picks the long and steady one and he loses quantitative hours off his lifetime. To be 'law abiding' or 'chaotic' holds no further benefit from one situation to another, yet when picked selectively they can become of further benefit than the other. This of course leads to some spooky descriptions, like the appearance of chaos on ordered systems, and the appearance of order in seemingly-chaotic environments (like the ones shown in chaotic binary systems).

This also discards the idea of "random selection", when one selects "randomly" there still exists the option of the solution being equal to a premeditated solution to the problem, therefore being feasibly thinkable by any human or machine: there is no randomness. And before you throw this book in the garbage bin (if you haven't already, please do) consider for a moment every random decision you've ever taken in your life. How different would it have been if you've made the "random" choice for yourself? Mediating decisions only extends the process, the outcome is still one that could have been previously predicted. Now, the fact that is has not been predicted (take lottery, for example) is because not enough occurrences or instances of it (no infinite quantity of lottery tickets) has been made, over an infinite amount of time. 

It is clear to say that we do not have infinite time, which is quite sad.


	7. On religion as dogma and mental blinds

We have raised the cupolas of churches tall, as to provide difficulty on touching them. We distance what we consider divine and by extension magnificent from our reality, instead of trying to bring it closer. 

By thinking that only after we die we may reach paradise, or be born again towards a final, clear and beautiful goal, is a disappointment. If you as a man may only be sure of what is lived in the moment, and analyzed, witnessed and conspicuously thought, why would you allocate all hope for a nicer future on chance and imagination?

So we become obsessed with doing certain practices, rituals, prayers, however you wish to call them, to guarantee that we will make it into the afterlife, into heaven, to be reborn. But yet we do not understand that heaven is right here on earth, where we are nurtured, taken care of, satiated.

Here we experience our dreams, our passions, our thoughts. Here men live as, hopefully, equals. We have created barriers, separations, divisions to keep us from one another, to distinguish, to make original. And while it may be true that our thoughts and personalities are different, it is bigotry to make some suffer under the wrath of hunger and famine, and to isolate others into a life of addiction and sin.

And when I mean sin, human, I refer the that which helps no body, and comes from nobody but to spend, to damage, to harm. It comes to no sense that damage be not followed by change and birth. It has been the cycle of the land and the earth millions of years before your coming, and it is definitely senseless that we have decided to change the order of life, not for our own benefit, but for the segregation of our own people. 

How come we dare to even bask in the light of knowledge if we seldom acknowledge those in hunger and grief? How come can we close our eyes to blindly overlook the men and women that have been abused, harassed, prosecuted without reason. And it is not only reason that comes to mind when we think of this separation, but our very own humanity. We have dehumanized sex, we have dehumanized color!

I cannot attest to believe that I will partake a world riddled by such messes, without it being called hell. If hell is the manifestation of all our sins, as humans and as tradition have punished them, as not a byproduct of fate but as a single unitary measure of our vices and dehumanization, how come we dare to assume that our own world, riddled to the brim with injustice crime and vice, be excluded from this definition?

Churches, mosques, temples, if they were all land that cultivated something, would they not feed the millions starving in their vicinity, would they not stop stealing away from the just and feeding off their dogmatic beliefs, their hierarchy? 

In their organization they have destroyed the true union of humanity, work. It is not the work of an office or the fields, but the betterment of the standard of living in societies. We have established institutions that promote that work, but they are riddled with bureaucracy and corruption. And that brings me to a different point.

Let me tell you something. With a square meter for living, bathing and wiping oneself, who wouldn't subdue? Who wouldn't be prone to catching highly volatile diseases?

Who would not be prone to all the major diseases of humanity, to those fees and creases we drag ourselves into. Who wouldn't fall for the traps of Malthus, of Stalin, What Bigoted Lie will appeal better to the masses that have rotted in stench for most of their livened existence, now interconnected by a hidden web of data and interpolation. What aspect of revolutionary thought will appeal now to the tired peoples of Nicaragua, Venezuela, North Korea, America, China, the world? 

War, death, pressure, change, stability, shock, peace. Those diseases that have lurked through human history! It is not only the pathogens, the viruses and the bacterium, that dare attack us, but our dire self through all humanity. If it is but humanity that led to the propagation of said pestering insults to self, as to which have degraded and devolved all possible narcissistic conception of intelligence and intellect, have reduced man from common slave to business manager, have increased our expanse on this world and our comprehension of it, as to yet bring it once to the margin of its destruction, what a dire consequence humanity is!

It has been greed, and not the selfless greed of the capitalists, not the greed of power traditionally attributed to the fascists, and yet once again not the self-righteous greed of the Nazis that has conglomerated all warfare on the planet, yet in part highly responsible for it, in their own right. It is alas the greed of man himself, one that piles up in discussion and arbitrage in ancient texts, is discussed almost daily upon news conventions and perhaps even told by your relatives who didn't receive a dime from their rich cousin. 

And in my humblest opinion, because I dare not say otherwise due to my now self-gained condition of judge, martyr and shoebox- pseudo-scientifically-hypocritical-  
Maniac, I'd be inclined to guess said greed is not all but necessary for human evolution.

Hell, the conversion and change off that greed has been a large upscale factor into paving the path to modern society, it has been but the determining factor set not by the economy but by the common man to improve his state of being. It has been such, that we have dared not care about the many fucked up things that we've had to go through to come up to this point. 

What much meaning is it then to argue and rant about our past mistakes; after all it seems we've learned from them. Public health is as good as it has ever been, housing and income disparity have gone down....

Yeah, where would that be again? Are we speaking about a first world country or, the rest of the planet? What about the men reduced to vagabonds walking the streets with blind eyes; a dog waiting for his bone, a dog waiting for some coin!

A dog reduced to the streets of an intersection, a man reduced to horizontal charity, to degrading charity! 

A man reduced to watch how as the modern nobility goes by with their flammant cars, their joyous seats, it will not matter much if they are expensive or cheap, they're not his! They are not lent to him by the state, they are not of his own personal property, and they are not of shared church property either for that matter. 

The times we do remember of such vagabonds, what other minded concern do we have about such fiends of nature but to dislike and abhor them, to dehumanize them? 

"They're a burden on the state.", "We must offer them our charity.", "I used to give that man twenty dollars every day, gave him a job and everything..." 

Equally destructive, equally puny! Understand at once that we have made a grave mistake, the grave mistake of merely creating the conditions for said people to exist! We have made a mistake in normalizing drugs; we have made a grave mistake in excluding certain members from our educational system! We have made a terrible mistake in not supporting an economy that permits all from remunerating accordingly to their effort, perpendicularly to their own good will, talent, good nature! 

We have created a society that benefits rats, a society that benefits the monopoly of information. We have created a society that benefits a spare few in all of those few that we believe are the elite! It is not them that are the most benefited off this mess, it is but us! We that have renounced the basic knowledge of brotherhood and freedom, we that have dared enslave our citizens under dictatorial regimes, we that do not cry when they are subjugated but are entirely happy when they revolt! 

Oh but such are the wonders of modern civilization! I can have my own tidy and mess-free virtual world while all of you rot to hell, while all of the exemplar and ad-friendly African children that I will use for selling my charity suffer from hunger! While all the whales that I will base my entire conservationist company that pays wages are dying at sea! So much rubbish in space!

And it is to be expected, of course. It is to be expected that from a large globalist tribe of evolved monkeys, a couple of odd behaviors occur, that a few will not understand the message, and that a few don't even know there is a message at all. It is okay, and I say perfectly okay, of course. 

If it all came down to say that beauty is in the eye of the beholder, change is in the mind of the human being that envisions it. I do understand that there are many of us that cannot share this burden, for alas they have been damaged in their own right, for they have struggled more than I in their daily comings, for they have seen the world with a different lens as mine, as distorted and popped as it may be. 

It is perfectly natural and understandable, that not all of men desire the best for the rest of the majority, if for that reason diplomacy and politics are never entirely one sided, and for that same reason we have problems and beautiful things in our current living. Inciting for revolt and revolution leads only to more death and massacre, inciting genocide drops everyone off their pedestal and is inhumane, for it is death that is our biggest enemy in this existence. 

So it only comes then, naturally once more, that the solutions for all of our problems as a human conglomerate, as an union of free states, as countries, as brothers, will be one that encompasses the true north of not only the majority, but of that which may be called the moral standard of all of humanity. It is then to be said that our values and virtues were worth something, after all? 

Maybe. But dreaming about selfless utopias is just that, dreaming about utopias.


	8. The human condition, redacted

Do not get me started on the mere act of being tired. Not tired of working or anything, just tired of procrastinating in general. It is impossible to push myself into doing something consistently and regularly without some boredom in the end, some inconsistency, some irregularity. Trying to push for perfection on every attempt only generates a strong feeling of uneasiness, displeasure, and discomfort! Typing away at these gibbering letters just eludes my interest now, just gibbering about much without anything being done brings me down, as an overloaded elevator.

Of course nobody came here to read a guy rambling about his personal discomfort, not at all. But if this discomfort is happening to me so fervently now, perhaps it has happened to everyone at some point? What striking accusation to assume that some have suffered the indolence of excessive work, of unpleasant jobs, of unnecessary time-wasting (that which is wasted is what the reader enjoys not, yet the same could be said in reverse).

And of course! It is but as consequence of being tied down to ropes on a monkey brain, one that grieves not receiving his dopamine injections in the morning, a pat in the back by his boss after doing a good job, the one that so desperately desires to procreate for the sake of it (even though the species as a whole is reaching a level of overpopulation [some trends say this won't happen, I want to see that.]). 

I walked down the pathway to church on a Sunday morning, I was just a little kid, but I remember this vividly. My dad led me by his hand, and we walked up to see five kids, some younger than me, begging in front of the church. This, of course, shocked me at the time, and I wept a little bit as I gave the eldest son a measly sum of REDACTEDs (which is comparable to a REDACTED). How foolish was I to keep asking for toys and other unnecessary bollocks while others suffered through poverty? The children were dressed in rags, while I enjoyed a nice looking t-shirt and comfortable shoes. This is a theme that has been talked before, but it is senseless to me that we still suffer from these ills. As I walked away from the church, I wondered why we could not give more to them, those that begged for necessity and not pious drug addiction or laziness. As I headed home, my face was covered in tears, and I couldn't bear thinking about the subject. 

To say it was a humbling experience is under-representing the event, considering that as I aged, I began to see more cases around my community, it was commonplace. Of course, I was living in a "REDACTED" which entitled others to not care about the state of poverty and the lack of opportunity of those in the lower echelons because it is normal in such societies. Of course!! They will climb that ladder up by themselves in time, right? We'll do a funny analogy about economical staircases, about how they'll advance from bicycle to motorcycle and finally to become a corporate norm in the business world. Yes!! We will stand there in veil while their youth is corrupted by the phlegmatic promises of street gangs, of REDACTED traffickers! Of course not! We are thinking about abolishing poverty, but we are forgetting about actually letting these people live what we, in our comfortable state, consider a regular life! If I were to be one of those poor souls condemned to such a life, even if I were lucky enough to have some paper and ink by my side, do you consider the endeavor of writing a book would've been more enjoyable to me than increasing my standard of living? Do you think I'd care about social change, and environmentalism, and futurism? No! I would be drowning in hell before that happens, as I see an opportunity for easy money and a radical change in my lifestyle. That's why these poor fellas will also advocate fundamentalism and other theology that gives them a moral high ground in their state of marginality, in their sense of economic humiliation! 

Eating at a restaurant, a man in rags walks in and orders a hamburger; do you think people would stare at him? Make comments of his way of dressing? Toss him a few coins? It is humiliating, people! It is not charity, in all its glorified vertical-ity and humiliation, the source of this problem, it is but the way we have structured our social relations and thought, our ideas! 

When we set ourselves a goal for ourselves in society we are promoting all behavior and action that can be seen as normality for that goal. Money as the ultimate goal? Glory? Beheading as many infidels are you can during the crusade? The list of options spans too long for me to list off my head, but it becomes clear that it is sadly exploitable, and has been through the ages.

As I aged, I started to forget these lessons. I started being consumed by mass media, by the digital world. It was a place full of promise, of golden dandelions hanging from unvented pixels. It was a fun time, too fun, and I interacted with other human beings through a digital screen, through words in a chatroom. The big game craze, the outburst of survivalist and mass multiplayer interaction, it felt as if it filled a hole in my human void. Here I could become a conqueror of the seas and land, grow vegetation as I saw fit, dominate others under my pressure. And likewise was the exterior human presence clouded from my view, such was its influence I began to deform and corrupt, not into some dreaded figure, but into a state of almost robotic sentience. It was at this point, which also concatenated with my REDACTED, that I stammered injuring phrases at my peers, at my family. It was at this moment that their discipline I felt like a long and storming rope, trying to hunt down the version of me that I thought superior. 

How would I not? If under the illusion of growth these provided, I was also improving in the sciences and in my use of the English language? I was becoming a globalized man, one that could interact to other members in society, one corrupted by the vile lengths of virile material and imagery, one whose brain was being fed up to the machine, one struggling over his own ambition, his need to make himself better? It was not all gloom though, as my humanity sparked through this time, and I started yearning for those experiences of childhood growth and affection, I began to interact more with the environment, to care about things, to want to know how they worked. Alas not all of these efforts were fructiferous, and many were the times at which we weep and lament our fights and our rumblings and our misunderstandings. Why if I was born so smart as to have the option of choice, would I pick the one that injures my relatives? My siblings?

It was senseless, it was innocuous, it was terrible. Yet for some reason I feel that was some of the more important stages for my own personal growth, for my own benefaction. And I believe that they helped me shape who I am today, under the heavy weight of my debt to this world, and the need to give something back. 

Human intellect is a thing of mystery; it comes up with the prettiest things, yet finds a way to generate those most dark. We have coerced against one another during our upcoming, during our growth. If it were not for personal gain, what would be of this world? The dreams of the Marxists and the Leninists are farfetched from reality, the spirit of anarchy fails blandly at the realization of a new method of organization, and capitalism generates the most abhorrent creatures this world has seen. As resourceful and innovative as we may be, it has proven a great challenge to come up with a way to organize ourselves in a way where growth becomes equitable, consolidative and personal.


	9. On Government

It has come to my attention that our current forms of government continue to exist thanks to a delicate game of balance. The game itself has been analyzed, explained and understood better by political scientists through the ages than I can and am able to think and write about it in this book. Many, including myself, have dreamed about the creation of a new, magical government that will get rid of all of our human suffering and pittance. 

The creation of a new form of government is riddled with such many hazards; it becomes quite clear it won't happen through revolution or revolt, as that means it exists through a chaotic state, and therefore will settle chaotically. The influence of globalization is pulling countries far closer than ever, and in the current state of affairs and if space colonies finally happen, I am glad to predict that such cohesion will happen internally, and true pure humanity will shine a little bit brighter. Because one can never truly describe the correct cohesion and creation of a government without relating it directly to the time-frame in which it was created, it’s duration and the state of affairs it’s ruler had to move through. The kingdom of Prussia is entirely different to modern day Germany not only in land extension but also because of geographical splits, ideological and demo-graphical movements, etc. 

Maybe it will seem strange for the reader to not consider the creation of a new form of government for the unification of the entire human race a plausible thing; I still have my skepticism that such a thing will ever be feasible, we continue to share and distance ourselves with differences both dogmatic and physical, therefore a single uniting entity would have to merge to such identifications and try its best to unify everything and everyone, yet that also includes people in disbelief of such a type of government, and therefore falls apart at its creation. 

Yet, improving our own systems and forms of governance to be ‘fairer’ (for this, utilize your own definition of what can be considered fair in your own society, as I don’t know anymore.) will be a costly and strenuous ordeal, yet I can still mentally believe it will be worth it.

It is perfectly fine if the reader digresses, perhaps he was born into a wealthy or accommodated family, and perhaps he has enjoyed a state of living that has permitted him to avoid the many grievances experienced by the majority of the population, right? Well I have been raised comfortably too, and I’ll be damned not to say I haven’t struggled much since my childhood. I didn’t have food shortages, I didn’t need to work to make a living, and I made it to a prestigious school in the city outskirts of REDACTED. It could’ve been way worse, of course. I could’ve been born a baby during the Aleppo attacks, a child being torn by hunger in Sub-Saharan Africa, an infant wailing across the deserted streets of revolting South America, etc. 

But it must be understood that, even though they may have come from different precedence, wealth and social status, that the problems of this globe engulf us all, perhaps too much in a disproportion, to an extent.


	10. Chapter 10

_Plum, swollen and red, like pumpkin wilting unconsciously through emptied dirt streets, drowned to the bone with oil from palms and lard from the pigs, if only you knew they lived better than you! If only you knew how you were subdued by the very society that dares call itself inclusive, when it spawns cancers that spread deep within it! No amount of makeup will hide you, as it does not hide the scars left by itself! Cruel living, cruel destiny! "It is but a choice in lifestyle" "It is but a decision!" Of course?! And of course it will be the more expensive one, the more laborious one, the path filled with sharp edges and paywalls, the one laden with traps that fetch the least agile into misery, poverty!_

_Endless trails, smokeless tails! What has come of you, then! Look at yourself! Look at yourself! Look at the lardy flaps of solitude and misery that follow you! Look at the deep tears of the mannequins that can't be more squalid! What a time to be alive, if it which be compared to one of our most joyous, it also sprawls misery in equal proportion!_

_A subordinate to your ignorance, chainless subordination..._


	11. Work

And really, that standard of living will never be the same for everyone, which is an idealist’s dream. When we try to push the bar on those that want to extend into infinity, is it not as unfair as it is to raise those that do not want to change their monotony, their simplicity?

It just comes as a byproduct of currency, these effects.

Like in nature, an external source (currency) coming into a foreign system can push lower branches into opulence. Just as a whale’s carcass falling at the bottom of the ocean, the influx will have strong effects on their personal economies until it ceases.

A person found in that situation just climbed the economical echelon swiftly, and so did their standard of living. They can spend on larger houses; of course some just retire off and do not work a single day in their lives afterward, but this is such a fringe case that, omitting the fact that we will consider this a large increment in their personal worth, it is more of the in-adaptation to the implications of being higher in the economic pyramid than nothing else.

Yet they wanted to raise said standard for a reason. Consider it, of all the times in which they were offered the option (by definition of chance, raises, more work, etc.) neglecting it so implies that either they were incapable of sustaining a different lifestyle or just not wanting to change. It comes without asking the question of the individual needs and situations of the affected by these means, some may be struggling with debt, family, housing, health, etc.

The newly created world of riches removes need, yet it only displaces these problems until later, when the money stops flowing. It is a consequence of capitalism, of the free exchange of goods and the largely exponential influx of knowledge and wealth, information. The benefits of currency outweigh their detriment, in the short term, yet they have bound up so much suffering and despair through the ages that it has become clear they weren’t all free.

In a way we should be glad that our ancestors decided to start trading goods and exchanging ideas and information, because that enabled the subdivision of labor and thus created specialized branches, like in an ant colony, for humans to become more advanced and sophisticated in their trades. Today, however, we experience a cultural shock in what comes of the men that have not moved from certain periods of this specialization, and thus have to experience the shock of adapting to current methods and ways of producing wealth, which albeit have changed drastically, still hold some semblance to the feudal systems of the past, to the Neolithic farmer, hunter and gatherer.

The clearest method of detecting how far a civilization is from its period of specialization is the percentage of how much of the workforce is working on agriculture. The more advanced a civilization, the more this fraction approximates zero (yet in all realism we all know that what is happening is that the more advanced society is outsourcing their food from other, more productive places). By making the aforementioned generalization we run into an issue: clearly the food must come from somewhere, at any point, otherwise the masses will starve and we won’t have enough productive force to further continue specialization. Yet, what will happen to those countries with the most fertile land available for exploitation, and what basis can we utilize for predicting their economic future?

I will do something I am not entirely a fan of and build a future prediction for those economies here. There is a cap to how much our production of biological goods can be produced, because the main constraint is biology, therefore most of our future food production will be synthesized directly through chemistry (similar to how our lab-grown meat currently works) except there will be no biological intermediary, in a way we will have defied nature to the point of it not being able to nurture our imaginative and productive powers anymore, and such a drastic change in the production of food will create massive revolutions in the terms of the economic division of what before were the wealthy technology-rich countries and those willing to sacrifice their farmland for the dawn of the new food industry.


	12. On the constraints of the biological self

All and all our own biology has allowed us to observe and explore our world, to traverse the universe, but at what cost? Why are we not making modifications yet? Why are we not revolutionizing our biological cycle to turn us into superhuman creatures, into the gods we once feared and revered? Why are we still stuck to a single tiny planet, a planet that is still riddled with war and destruction, with the desolation of our people, with the killing and murder and rape of our children? Why have we not come up in a mass outcry for help, for help! We've got religion to silence our cries, muffled by the aidings of an eternal and pitiful god, we've got alcohol to drown our spirit in stupor and forget all the cruelty and hatred that exists in this world, we've got drugs and nootropics to create distinct realities and alter our perception of our own, to modify our very own feelings! And how much do we need them! If, after all, nobody (as a cohesive group) is going to stand up to their own beliefs, if they are going to be ridiculed by all their peers and silenced quietly.

Sensory overload is a natural side effect of being alive, but we've managed to block it off. Our brain can only handle so much information at a time, we can only focus on so much before we lose focus, before we deviate into thoughts and ideas and that's a pretty nice dress you're wearing, Miss.

It has become clear to me that we pleasantly don't enjoy many things in life, and yet most of the time we will proceed to ignore them or create circles around them.

We've lost so much potential it shocks me. If the laws of natural selection and random mutation apply to the entire world, the chances of getting an Einstein anywhere are pretty much the same IF they had the same amount of resources, temperature, loca… Just to think that most genius has to bypass those filters at all, then progress to not be eaten by sociological sharks, falling into memetic pits, or just outright suffering death, is pretty astounding. More astounding is that we keep those barriers in place. 

Needless to say many of these (barriers) will never be broken at all. Think about location for instance. A kid born in South Asia with the same genes as one born in North America is going to have a much lower chance of survival statistically. That and his physical and inherited adaptations might not be the best to outcompete or to successfully show his genius. 

As it is this serves just as another example of how we have mastered the self-destructive act of artificial selection sociologically, setting up power and control schemes that benefit particular adaptations correct to the time period, the current technology, our ability to communicate and receive knowledge (also known sometimes as intelligence, recently it seems this term has lost much relevance). Never in any historical period has man been able to do so many things at once, to entertain himself so diversely or to enjoy a profession excluded entirely from all that he displeases (not all of us, of course). Yet those same freedoms have brought with them ever increasing vices. Vices that rout out culture and self-dignity, vices of malicious acts and contemptuous suffering, vices of sitting on a goddamn guard post while trying not to fall asleep. 

Vices that have been innocuously been hiding as “necessary” in the eye of the common populace and in necessity of an ever-growing civilization. Vices of a continent, of a planet! What need do I have to grow wheat when we can redirect all of our human focus from eliminating that task from existence. “But the jobs would be lost?” Who cares about the jobs, the salaried businessman sitting at the top of his springhouse? The rich landlord charging you rent? The poor cat lady sitting on the street? No! Nobody will miss that job if it could be replaced instead by an equal automated distribution of said goods to the general populace. 

Miss farming? How about trying out our next-gen VR farming simulation, or go ahead and do the job as a volunteer! I am not paying people to go fetch me water because water distribution has already been solved. What about food? 

There are many layers to this, of course, so much so that it would be too nonsensical for my own liking. So, instead I'm leaving the reader on the high note of actually thinking about the matter and bringing it up on his own hands, does that seem fair to you?


	13. A cry for help

The past five days of my life have been an absolute slog. Why? I will let the reader know as I start venting out asphalt on why I think this has happened to me. For one, I've started to feel as if I have not contributed anything to society yet, and I have a pressing need to do so. Secondly, I have been deprived of feeling true success or the gratification from obtaining things after liberating myself from the need of having any physical object, although in reality that is more than false as I still crave for food, water and other biological needs. I have limited the time of the day in which I exercise, although I still keep doing it I feel as if most of my routine time for pumping iron and running on top of a fixated immobile treadmill are long gone. 

Why would I allow myself to come to this point?

What were first at a glance the best vacations I could ever wish to get, five long months of stagnated nothingness have proved to do quite the opposite to my person. One could argue that it could be my mental faculties at fault here, and an underlying condition of depression or dehumanization originating from my entertainment to be the actors of this cruel mental demise. I am also quite aware that maybe it is the sum of all the physical conditions that have impended upon me, be it in the harm and the debilitating pain of my growing body or in the burn of my acne-scarred face, I don't know. 

My first impulse when I detected things were going south was to seek help from others online and in my family. I have always appreciated their way of discerning when something is off from a person but today I don't feel quite that way. Because in the past this has had a simple solution and often been just a meager concern to be taken care of, but today I realize it is something much larger than me as a person. It is the desire to leave a mark on this world.

Having left behind all excuses to take this as REDACTED angst, as false ramblings or the mind or as acute sentiments of the body I hereby try to rationalize the ordeal: I am giving myself unrealistic expectations. Expectations botched by watching YouTube (1) videos on success and on the mind, on psychology and the unbound potential of human creativity, of reading of Asian, Indian, American, etc. kids being able to do more than I have ever been able to dream about with their talent, about the latest advancements in medical and engineering research that far outlast and outpace my understanding and knowledge of both fields, the downfall of my creative writing and the inevitable unpublishability of the things I have dared to write for this book, and the amazing success of everyone else. 

I can go on and blame the media for doing this to my psyche. It takes gut to actually do this considering it would mean an attack towards myself or anyone that sympathizes with my ideas, but I'm sick and tired of never been able to understand what it is I truly want. I've had dreams of becoming the biggest conqueror ever or the spark towards the invention of futuristic technology, of having my name and figure emblazoned on sculptures and statues raised higher than anything else, of having my castles and thrones blocking the sun with their figure. Yet, is this what I truly what?

If that meant having everything in the world and unlimited access to everything that has ever been thought of in the history of mankind, would that be enough to fuel and apprehend my desire? The desires of millions of other individuals who have loved, feared and shone on towards the light of a promised, better future? 

This is the downfall of the promise of a better life and of a better psychological peace of mind in my current state of affairs and in the outlook of our current system at large. It pains me to say that I have heard of and seen people complain about this issue before, lamenting and drawing and painting and illustrating the downfall of civilization, a civilization of ever-wanting rats.

Yet my pains do not end there. In seeking refuge from this heinous cover of muddy and dehumanizing thoughts I found myself upon the shores of religion, the ever so abhorred 'science' by my person of which I have tried to steer clear my entire life. I begin reading the dharma prophesized by the Buddha and I scoff it off as pedantic guidance towards becoming an erudite monk. Yet, I think and go back and truly try to understand what this man is trying to say in his words, in his speech "This is suffering", "This is the end of suffering". 

There are still flaws in these thoughts. By detachment we only guarantee the better being of our self but not of others, by hiding from the truth of the biological and physical world we scar our minds and hinder them with false "true, pure world view", we run and gallop away from the thought of an impending death and shy away from fulfilling our biological purpose, we skid and slide upon the walls of infinity and scoff and expunge at them. 

It would be much bigotry to undermine the efforts these past prophets have done trying to bring an end to the negative aspects of the human condition and improve the irreversibly damaged systems of morality and self-guidance that we have gilded ourselves with. 

It would be the biggest mistake of my literary career to limit my ranting of this subject to just the following lines of a book without trying to do something about this ordeal on my own, to try and find a suitable end to the madness accompanying violence and greed born from the so called volition which is just a byproduct of our biological evolution. 

Yet through the time it has taken me write this far, I have become more disillusioned with the idea of repair, disenfranchised with the completely wiping of the old in favor of the new, and with just letting things sit as they are. 

I simply don't know what to do.


	14. Self and Others

Taken aback as I was previously, I needed a way of keeping things straight and orderly (if not, what point is there in writing this) and so I will try to pull myself together with an analogy. Sometimes I wish I was as the sages of old, only dispensing parables without discernible meaning until examined with some introspection, and maybe this will fill that emptiness, but not being direct with my thoughts makes me fear for the worst: my message not being understood clearly; therefore I will continue transmitting it directly, and hopefully it will make a difference someday.

There is no such thing as a same start for people: Biology has helped us understand that we're all genetically different in the biggest sense, yet in the same way we do have shared genetic material with our ancestors and other species on the planet. We're all inherently created and exist made of the same atomic particles, held together by invisible forces that we haven't quite found an explanation to all yet. 

We can use our current scientific standpoint to evaluate consciousness objectively, but we don't find much use in that currently to the common man. We know that our thought process exists due to electrical currents and connections facilitated by all the chemical processes existing in our brain. Yet, the notion of self and existence does not stem directly from knowing which neurons are firing specifically at which moment or the chemical composition of our brain at any given time. Sure, that may be the scientific answer for the matter at hand, and I would be swept aghast if that was the case, as it'd mean a huge leap in neurosurgery and in the understanding of our biological formation, but for the time being we're limited to the introspection and the analysis of others on the musings of self and conscious/subconscious behavior and patterns.

What interests me the most from this is the creation of the notion of self, the so called "self-concept" of the psychologists that stems from relation to our environment, relationship and group dynamics. Mainly because there is no empirical or completely rationally objective way of observing the differences in environment and their direct impact on growth, formation and a notion of self; mainly because they are interrupted by timeframe, family dynamics, food, physical activity, etc. that are beyond being testable and controllable. And if we were to test these scientifically, having two human beings with completely identical biology through gene manipulation in the entirely same setting, we would find that their actions and behavior would be completely different, since brains do not all develop with the same rate, consistency or retain the same perspective and information at any given moment in time between them. This is a matter of perspective of course, but also on the physical constraints of the human body. Two absolutely identical human beings with the same chemistry, physical structure, same moments of experience cannot physically have the same memory of a given moment because they cannot occupy the same location in space at a given time. What they can share, however, are ideas and fragments of remembrance from a particular moment, in their own perspective intertwined with the views and expressed ideas of others at a given time, alongside with their own feelings on the matter. 

I will speculate the first moments of social interaction between humans occurred in a similar fashion as to those in our "ideally the same" thought experiment, and even then we can see that the formation of the first human tribal group and the first gathering and dissemination of ideas had to follow certain preset patterns. For one, we needed a commonly shared notion of sharing basic ground-level feelings and concepts to our fellow humans swiftly and effectively. Needless to say we had been developing that ever before the first tribal group ever appeared: monkeys have shown similarities in visual and body languages as humans.(1) So in the high level we have language appearing, great. What else do we need to start our civilization game? Standardizing and maintaining information through time, which as many know already happened early in human history, and in the high level can be seen in the written records and the oral expression of today. 

How can we correlate this to our notion of self? Clearly we can fundamentalize our views and feelings about our own existence merely on the visual perception of our body, the notion of how much effort and productive output we can create and give to others in society (which we already do consciously and presumably subconsciously now) but with the appearance of language and speech we learned to categorize ourselves with words and abstract notions. "I am a good man" thought Mussolini as he whacked some poor fella on the head with his wooden cane, etc. These of which can be of great use and of productive value to any civilization, a man with the notion of thinking he is a "Hard worker, always respectful and disciplined" may or may not be of a larger productive output of another that has always thought "I am really good at cooking, I'm a perfect cook, cooking is my life." etc. 

While these examples seem exaggerated, I would like to take this moment to call out to the reader to think of his greatest five attributes, his four greatest strengths and the three things he enjoys doing the most. How do those correlate with your notion of self? How do you perceive yourself through these activities, through these words? 

However, these language-preceding notions of self have a flaw, often pointed by the Buddha and his followers, that they are directly tied to the world we live in, are bound up with suffering. And so too can we use these mental notions to cause ourselves harm, and oh how often does it happen modernly! Nobody is taught proper self-love etiquette, nobody is expected to know how to consciously prepare themselves for happiness as a property of self, yet we continue to propagate ideas on success, wealth, fortune and the lives of famous, rich and joyous people. "I look just like my favorite celebrity, I identify so much with X movement, I think our company is doing great!, I really hate X shoes X person uses, etc." These all stem from comparison in thinking and in physical circumstances, conscious word-speech and the perception of our own self and others, and most certainly end destructively.

I never said this was you, reader. You know very well already I will do whatever to defend you from the brazen fire pits of identifying in these selfless attributes, the mystical "I am not worthy of being a human being, I have never given anything to society, I am a waste of space." thoughts that penetrate and devour the minds of people driving them to depression, alcoholism and other abuses and vices. The endless and greedy ideas and mentality passed down upon us is one that can either die at the shores of understanding and remain dead for the rest of our lives or thrive in an ocean of ignorance and submission to the uninformed or the inattentive, and I believe we should do whatever is in our power to prevent this latter case from happening. Yet, at what cost?

Playing devil's advocate here is a risky but often played game. I don't care about living in a life full of wealth and joy, I will let these features define me as a person, are you trying to limit my economic success? No, I'm just trying to give you a voice of consciousness and to get you to think for yourself truly for a second. If you were to detach all notions of self that are foreign to your human condition, to your biological constraints, then who are you? Are you the friends you had in your infancy, the lessons your parents taught you, the sum of all your experiences on this large mass of land? What if I just dejected all of these ideas and notions and decided to exist without self?

Very well, how would you explain yourself then? Pun unintended. 

We live in an interconnected globe of information with billions of other human beings all striving for success and a shot at the so-called happiness, but so many times do we forget to look around us and truly acknowledge this and love each other for a minute. Have you ever taken a moment to selflessly tell all of those around you how proud you are of them existing and having making it this far down the evolutionary timeline? Have you ever taken a moment to look into the eyes of someone you hate so much because they are mean or whatever the fuck and tell them how much they mean to you? Have you ever stopped thinking in notions of groups and cities and countries and continents and focused purely on the individual, pure and soulless nature of human beings, our shared fate known death, and how to pool all of our efforts fighting against it? 

It takes a lot of courage to understand that you, and your current experience, are not unique, but the shared feeling and struggle of billions of others. Even more courage does it take to reject from the notions and expectations of society to create something that YOU think will impact others positively, and overall make this world a better place.

When was the last time you kissed someone selflessly?


	15. An abrupt ending, finale.

In the vast meantime I have dedicated to writing this text (which has now taken a span longer than two years, in hindsight too much time to allocate for a piece of such probable little success) there has been an uprise in interest for the creation of a general intelligence machine, and the ever impending need to give said machine boundaries so as if it grows smarter than us, it will not destroy (or even worse, despise) their creators. 

I have nothing to say about this but that it is damn about time.


End file.
